Navigating Mother's Day-by Toni Brabec

Navigating Mother’s Day.
If upcoming Mother’s Day seems overwhelming to you this year, follow us as we  share 10 tips to help you navigate through it over this next week. 
Observe Bereaved Mother’s Day- Sunday, May 5th, 2024

1. 1.This day is reserved for bereaved mothers. If the traditional Mother’s day, for whatever reason (and there can be many reasons), is overwhelming to you, know that this day is reserved for you. Sometimes, it is helpful to have a separate day to remember and honor your children who are not with you. This is optional and for you if you would like. 
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3. 2.Take a break from social media- social media is full of advertising and content promoting Mother’s Day and families. This can produce feelings of anxiety, comparison, and many intense emotions. It’s okay to take a break and limit your exposure to this type of content.
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5. 3.Choose an activity that you look forward to and invite your your safe and trusted friends and family. This could be anything from going to eat at your favorite restaurant, ordering take out, watching a movie, enjoying a walk or hike, getting out of town. 
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7. 4.Share your story- not everyone may feel up to this as your story is personal and sacred. It’s up to you who and how you share your story. Sometimes, speaking about our baby(ies) is helpful and brings a sense of comfort. The more we share our personal stories of sorrow and struggle, it will allow others permission to share their story too. Through this, we can know that we are not alone.
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9. 5.Allow yourself permission to grieve- It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay that you’re not okay. Remember, this is not for forever. This is just for right now. 
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11. 6.Make a plan- Sometimes it’s helpful if you know there is a plan as well as a back up plan. Make a plan to see family or friends, or plan that activity you want to do. And include a back up plan incase you feel differently that day. Let your friends and family know your plans so they can help support you.
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13. 7.Set boundaries- in making your plan, it’s okay to set some boundaries. An example would be to say to yourself, “I am going to allow myself permission to leave the gathering and go home if I feel too overwhelmed.” Or, “I will attend this event and then leave after 1 hour.” The good thing is that you can set whatever boundaries you need to help protect your heart and mind.
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15. 8.Communicate- Choose atleast one trusted person to share with your plans and the boundaries you have set. This will help you as you know you have support from this person and they can check in on you as well throughout the day.
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17. 9.Be gentle with yourself- It can feel like a lot of pressure as there maybe expectations from others or from yourself for this day to be spent a certain way.  Be gentle with yourself is things don’t feel or turn out exactly the way you anticipated or planned. If you change your mind about your plans, know that it’s okay. Grief is hard and can be unpredictable. So go easy on yourself if things turn out differently.
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19. 10.Mother’s Day is for you- Some of you may struggle with acknowledging to yourself you are a mother. We want you to know that you are a mother and this day is for you. If you wish to celebrate mother’s day despite not feeling like one, we hope you will. And if you’re not there yet, that’s okay too.