In this article, I (Toni) am going to share with you my 2nd miscarriage which was at 9 weeks. We will talk about the misconceptions of miscarriage and I will share (2 Take-Aways) that may help you if you are or have experienced a miscarriage.
Let me just give you a heads up right now, that we (Geoff and Toni) will be sharing in-depth about our experience and will be fairly detailed in my physical descriptions of our two miscarriages. Yes, it might make you uncomfortable to hear this and we hope you stick with us. We hope that by sharing our experience it will invite others to engage in conversations where the goal is to gain understanding and empathy. We also want to acknowledge that discussing and sharing my physical symptoms may bring up negative memories and flashbacks for those that have already experienced a miscarriage or another type of pregnancy loss. If that is the case for you, then this may create more harm than good and we completely understand if you choose not to read on.
Our 2nd Miscarriage
In the previous article, we shared about my first miscarriage experience. We talked about how the idea of saying that a miscarriage is “just like a heavy period” gives a false sense of what miscarriage really is. There were some similarities between our first miscarriage and our second, but overall they were quite a different experience.
We had the first ultrasound and saw the baby. We heard the heartbeat and watched on the monitor as he/ she moved around. Immediately following that week I started seeing streaks of pink after going to the bathroom. What’s hard is that you don’t really know what is happening unless it’s quite obvious or you’re able to see with an ultrasound what is going on. But until then, it’s a waiting game and it is very, very stressful. Week 9 was when the heavy, heavy bleeding and major clots came. There was way more bleeding and cramping this time compared to the first miscarriage. I was losing so much blood that it concerned both of us and we decided to go to the ER.
The ultrasound confirmed that the baby died and was still inside my womb. We were told to go home and wait and see if the baby would come out on its own. For us, it happened the next day. For some, it can take a few days or weeks for the baby to come out. Sometimes you might be offered a D&C which is a surgical procedure that removes all the tissue from the uterine lining. We did not need to do that.
Everyone’s experience is different, no two miscarriages are necessarily the same.We realized that even if you’ve had multiple miscarriages, each one may have been a completely different experience from each other. It is important not to compare and to allow your miscarriage to be what it is for you and you alone.
Everyone’s physical recovery is different. 1- Maybe you recovered in a couple of weeks, maybe yours took weeks or months. 2- Some may be able to recover naturally, others may require additional assistance involving surgical procedures. 3- Not only is everyone’s experience unique, but it can also affect us each differently. Some may be able to return back to life early on, others need more time to recover. Some struggle with depression andPTSD.
More Than Just A Heavy Period
There is more to miscarriage than just having a heavy period. There is not only the physical but also the emotional we have to account for. 1- Some of us have guilt, we ask if it was our own fault. 2- Some of us question our own bodies wondering if we are even able to get pregnant. 3- Some of us have feelings of loss because we did not get to keep our baby. The emotional journey to how you got pregnant is also part of your story.Join us in our next article where we uncover the 2nd of 4 Miscarriage Misconceptions.We hope you found this article helpful and hope you feel you are not alone. You are loved. Your baby will always be remembered. We are here to support you in any way that we can.